Hi. I'm Ian Morrison and I guess you could call me a local. Dropping into Whistler during Crankworx is often too much for even the most seasoned vets. So I thought I’d do my pal Stevie a favor and show him how to survive the mayhem before the shit gets real.

Here’s a run-down of how it all goes down, Whistler style:

• One dumbo is never enough at Sushi Village.
• Stopping in the middle of the trail is not a brilliant thing to do. I don't want to run into you and you don't want to be run into by me.
• Midday is not the best time to ride. But it is the best time to hit the beach and enjoy the “scenery”
• I'm not trying to piss you off, you're just going too slow
• The common myth of nothing cures a hangover. Feed the beast some Zogs Poutine to get you back on the bike for another day of riding.
• Yes, the GLC is right at the base of the mountain—making it awesomely convenient. It also contains the four food groups: babes, beer, burgers, and buckets.
• You might think no one notices that you haven't showered in three days. Fight the funk and shower... with soap
• Just because you have a human kinetics degree doesn't mean you should tell people how to ride a bike.
• Long hair is an aerodynamic advantage. (It's math. Don't question it.)
• Visors are meant to be put in the highest position. Without question it will make you a better rider.
• Support local shops, you might spend a few extra bucks but at least it'll be done right.
• The wildwood is not that good for breakfast. Don't be mis-lead.
• A single isn't an acceptable amount of booze. Doubles or bust.
• Your feet will stick to the ground in the clubs, get drunker, you won't notice.
• The speed limit is there to be broken and please stop driving slowly in the passing lane you are making everyone hate you… not just me.
• Bring your own Espresso machine, because real coffee in Whistler does not exist.
• If you end up underground at the end of the night, there is a 90% chance you are not riding the next day, you have reached the point of no return.

See you soon.